I first read about Spoonerisms in the Reader's Digest years ago. I love wordplay, so it's no surprise that I find spoonerisms fascinating.

• Chilled greese is delicious (Grilled cheese is delicious)
• It went at the lead of spite (It went at the speed of light)
• That's a lack of pies (That's a pack of lies)
• Remember, wave the sails (Remember, save the whales)
• Know your blows (Blow your nose)
• Go and shake a tower (Go and take a shower)
• Bad news could make your socks stink (Bad news could make your stocks sink)
• He slid into a sparking pace (He slid into a parking space)
• She won't tolerate mad banners (She won't tolerate bad manners)
• I went to mend the sail (I went to send the mail)
• Crawling through the fax (Falling through the cracks)
• I couldn't find the plaster man (I couldn't find the master plan)
• Engine won't start with bat flattery (Engine won't start with flat battery)
• Green belly jeans are the best (Green jellybeans are the best)
• It's roaring with pain (It's pouring with rain)
• I can't eat this jumpy lunk (I can't eat this lumpy junk)
• Hiss and leer (Listen here)
• I ended up chewing the doors (I ended up doing the chores)
• Written with a nasty smash (Smitten with a nasty rash)
• Such a gloomy flock of bats (Such a gloomy block of flats)
• She disappeared after giving me a white slave (She disappeared after giving me a slight wave)
• I spoke with the rental deceptionist (I spoke with the dental receptionist)
• Don't pet the sweaty things (Don't sweat the petty things)
• I see monk jail every day (I see junk mail every day)
• I'm having a healthy soul of ballad (I'm having a healthy bowl of salad)
• I bumped into the deadroom bore (I bumped into the bedroom door)
• He will be merely dissed (He will be dearly missed)
• They ate keys and parrots (They ate peas and carrots)
• He ran to burst face (He ran to first base)
• He stood, ready as a stock (He stood, steady as a rock)
• Throw out the wordy daughter (Throw out the dirty water)
• What a dirty pimple (What a pretty dimple)
• I love tickled parts (I love pickled tarts)
• He always has thirty dots (He always has dirty thoughts)
• I hanged my bed (I banged my head)
• She drank a cup of sea poop (She drank a cup of pea soup)
• I guessed it bite off the rat (I guessed it right off the bat)
• Don't give up, leap cooking (Don't give up, keep looking)

More here, here, and here.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
—Unknown, aged 15

I like the way that kid thinks.

 
**Source

The answer was no. Par for the course, I guess.

Dear X,

I received your disheartening letter conveying the fact that your family was urging you again to "be sensible". I have never understood what was "sensible" about trying to ignore the things you love.
—Julia Cameron, Letters To A Young Artist

In other words: What makes no sense to you may make a whole truckload of sense to me. Learn to live with it.

All this worldly wisdom was once the unamiable heresy of some wise man.
—Henry David Thoreau

Do not buy your girlfriend or wife flowers in an attempt to make nice after you pissed her off. Every time she looks at the flowers, she will just be reminded that you pissed her off, unless she has the memory span of a goldfish.
—Something Awful's Life Survival Guide: Relationships

I know, I know. Posting quotes is such a lazy way out, but I like quotes, and I haven't had the energy to write anything lately. Bear with me...